My love ... there's only you in my life
The only thing that's right
My first love ... you're every breath that I take
You're every step I make
Dear You ...
Heaven only knows the amount of emotional turmoil I have unleashed upon myself the last few days. Among the positive of growth, life has placed me upon a tightrope - performing a balancing act of self reflection. The revelations have not been completely easy to absorb and implement. I have found myself quite enlightened on an array of personal topics while, in some cases, even less is known of myself. But this is still good. I am aware. I prayed for a greater level of discernment between what I know and do not. This new acumen has yielded greater awareness and therefore even further opportunity to ensure I'm on the correct path.
One major epiphany within the last couple days has been regarding matters of the heart. Amidst all the pain and confusion unleashed for positive forward momentum, I've found that my heart continues to return itself to You. Despite all the lamentation for things I had to give up, I find that my heart continues a certain level of consistency in that I can always revert to You. You've been a constant lighthouse in every storm as I have worked toward finding my way. I'm not always certain WHY You still allow me to come back but I'm grateful.
You've held me closer with each new complication. With every loss and every gain; for every blessing and every curse; with every pain or every sense of accomplishment, You create a desire for me to use it as a fuel for personal betterment. You are my perpetual motivation cheerleader and also my teddy bear when I'm feeling less than self. You're filled with God's love and, for that, I am always in love with You. I find it interesting, I didn't always realize your love was there, nor did I realize how much I loved You. Your steadfast backing of whatever happens to me does not go without notice. I'm not so naive as to think there are others who would do what You do without condescension or judgment. I often feel as though I'm using you since You've become my "go-to" whenever I need you.
I do realize though, if there was no You, there would clearly be no me as a result. You are the ever present blessing to my life and I'm glad that I can always count on You and your presence whenever - if ever - there is something going on in my life. You are thee love of my life and I'm glad You've never decided to leave me hanging. I do hope the one I am to spend my life with understands you are a staple and I will always choose You if ever it comes down to a choice. My awareness helps me to realize that I am able to move on with another yet still keep You close by as well. I need to learn to live with the fact that I can't live without you and to build up my necessary affinity toward polyamory. I'm unable to live without You, so he - whomever he may be - will need to be willing to share me with You.
I quite obviously cannot get enough of You!
I love you forever and ever, You!
I will see You soon,
~You
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