31 August 2009

Case of the "X"

So I began writing this entry on the 4th of July as Hifey and I were headed to Baby Mama's house. *perhaps I will explain "Baby Mama" later. Well it had a serious point then, yet I hadn't completed it. Well, this morning another reason came about and so I'm going to extend an already long post *sorry* so you can get all the details.

As you will come to know, I tend to seek out friendships with my exes rather than to just cut them off completely. I am not sure if that comes from the "don't burn your bridges" mentality, a way to hold their idiocy over their heads at a later date, or that old saying "keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer" - I have no clue. (Now don't get me wrong, not all my exes are jackasses (or the like), so some deserve at least a chance at friendship, right? I don't know.) All I know is that for me, the attempt - at LEAST the attempt - is there to keep some sort of ties for them to my life. Just because we aren't destined for relationship doesn't mean we can't at least be friends, right? Well this works for me ... I guess it is the same mentality I've used with my dancers - there are certain constraints ... if you utilize what's given to you properly, you will excel. Conversely, if the system does not work for you, you will end up hanging yourself and all options will prove our friendship unnecessary. Perhaps its just my forgiving nature that allows me to allow them to stay. Oh, well ... it tends to work for me ...

But not for others ...

I respect that but some may not. Take my Hifey, the love of my life, the man for whom God's words tell me I will be with for the rest of my life, Jordyn. He is one such person that believes the concept of "ex for a reason" and that there is nothing more to be other than merely cordial with his exes. If you know Jordyn you wonder how people could do such stupid things to damn themselves to a barely-living existence without him. Nonetheless, I digress ... Hifey's views are explicit and quite clear to any and everyone who knows him, so to go against these wishes - and sometimes merely to ask questions about his opinion is basically ... well, redundant and pointless.

Well, Hifey's mom went against his wishes. Knowing full well his desires on the issue, she was out and saw his ex and gave out the new Chicago phone#. I'm not quite sure I can accurately express the conflicting thoughts I had (hell, still have) on this subject. On the one hand, I want, very earnestly, for his mother's approval. I'm not really certain why. Perhaps it's that I have never had to fight for the approval of any parent of someone I was dating - EVER! But then again, she just has a seriously rigid exterior and I would love for her to realize that I mean her son no harm. (that won't likely change her exterior, but ... I dunno) Now, on the other hand, it's another thing to go against explicit wishes that your son doesn't do the "ex thing" and definitely doesn't want to talk to them like that. I mean, it gets even worse once you know that the relationship ended with events leading up to violence - and I mean someone needing to go to the hospital type violence. Why, oh WHY would you divulge your son's telephone number? *SIGH* *SMH*

Anyway ... as if this wasn't enough ... today sparked another situation along these same lines. Well, let me take a step back.

So Hifey's mother gave the ex, Mark ("X" in Hifey's cell), his phone number and he is one of those latch-on-and-never-let-go types. You know the type - the ones that, once they realize the water's gone from the well, they jump down the hole and try to dig for more? *sigh* Well, despite the fact that Hifey ignores him, the man continues to call (at all hours of the day and night, I might add) and often times texts. *grunts* Anyway ... last week I was pissed off to find that he had sent 14 fucking text messages - I mean, dude, don't you have a life?! I didn't, however, respond. I mean, Hifey's took care of it, right? Well, his way of taking care of it, ignore it. So today comes around - the man apparently doesn't want to allow 7 days to go by without making some form of contact - and at 5:30am, another text message: some shit about "I was thinking of coming to Chicago, can I stay with you?" MUTHAF... *deep breath in - deep breath out* I decided to take the high road in this situation and send a message back: something like "This is his bf and I would really appreciate if you would stop contacting him. You are sending messages at 5:30 in the morning? You're extremely rude! So do us all a favor and stop contacting him. Thanks." Now this is just a summary of the message, I can't remember my exact words. Nonetheless, I let Hifey know that if he continues to send messages, call, what have you, I will personally call T-Mobile and get his phone number changed. Should his mother give it to him again, I will change it again and she should not receive it.

Am I wrong with my reaction? Was this not what I should have done, should have said? Hifey asked me why I would even say anything and if I did say anything why did I start with the niceties first before telling him how I truly feel regarding his sorry ass. I decided that it was important to give him the opportunity to do the right thing first. I told him what I felt was necessary and will allow him to make the next move. Let me say that his response was "lol" and that speaks volumes. I'm over him and dare him to further attempt insertion into my relationship.

Just wanted to get that out of my system and, furthermore, off my chest. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

25 August 2009

Where I Be 102



Goldstar: "I bought tickets to this event for hifey and I on Goldstar. They have half-price tickets and member reviews of concerts, sports, theater and more.
I'm already a member! http://www.goldstar.com/events/chicago-il/cirque-shanghais-bright-spirit.html?p=F1092596PB"

We're going on Wednesday, August 26, 2009 @ 2:00pm should you want to join us!

Tickets through Goldstar are only $16 including fees and such!

I can't wait ... I've never seen a Cirque show but I'm super excited about it!

21 August 2009

Where I Be 101

What's going on everyone ... it's been a minute and I'm going to change that, but today's post is to give some info. A good friend of mine is having a party tonight and I think you should be there.



It's the rebirth of a Chicago alternative night-life icon, the Generator. No it isn't at the Generator but it's going to be just as hot, if not hotter! I will be there and I hope to see you as well! Actually if you're there WITH me, there might be a surprise for you! Hmmmm ... incentive? I think SO!

So, gay, straight, lesbian, bi, transgender, questioning? You should be @ the hottest opening party of the summer!

Upgrade Your Nightlife ...

and remember ...

"IF IT ISN'T LUXe... IT ISN'T LIFE"