20 December 2009

Afraid to Dream ~ a reprise


So this morning I woke up sweating and trembling. Here it is 2 hours later and I still remember it as vividly as if it were happening at this moment. It repeats in my mind in a constant loop. *sigh* I know for many of you, this would only mean you might be scared for a few minutes, realize it was a dream and move on. Alas, it just doesn't work quite that way for me. If you have been reading my blog, you know that dreams are not my forte. If this is the first of my posts you've experienced (first, welcome! second ...) feel free to read the more telling story here.

OK, so perhaps you would like some details. Bear with me as I pause a bit (not that you'll likely notice as you're reading) but it's difficult to divulge.

**I'll input "....." to let you know where I stopped/cried/paused/freaked out**

So here goes .....

Without knowing the reasons or the circumstances leading up to these events, I'm at my mom's house. For some reason, we are all pretty scared already. To make a long story short, some sort of sharp shooter was attacking all the members of my family. Like I said, I have no idea what motive he had in so doing but he was picking off each member, one by one. He started outside the house and shot through the windows. Of course we then got down on the floor, fearing for our lives. This just made his chase get closer and closer until he was in the house. In scenes that seemed to be similar to that of Jason or Michael Myers (if either might have carried a rifle of some sort) he found each member of my family and killed them with a single shot.

As he approached the room where I stood motionless (however trembling - go figure) with my bf and my nephew, I tried to come up with a way to protect us. In the blink of an eye (not sure if my motionless body caused me to blank out or what), he had somehow entered the room, shot my bf 3 times (an apparent struggle) and turned to come after my nephew. .....

It's so weird to be able to see it all happen and to be a part of the happening, all at once. It sounds weird to me as I try to form the words to explain it so that it makes sense to you. But I watched as he shot my nephew in the leg, he only got the leg because I lunged at him. In the same moment, we were in the kitchen and falling down the front stairs toward the door. Having the advantage of being above him, I was able to stop a bullet, that rang out right next to my face, from piercing my skull. Somehow a scuffle ensues and I manage to get the rifle pointed at him. When I open my eyes, my nephew is hugging me, crying, on the floor at the top of the stairs. I have no idea how I got there or if the killer is dead but I do see his body at the bottom of the stairs.

When I wake up again, my mom and other members of my family are coming into the house and upstairs. I was apparently dreaming and begin uncontrollable sobbing.

Then I wake up, trembling and crying. Once I realize that it was a dream - within a dream *whew* - I manage to get out of bed to wash my face.

Here it is, hours after I woke from the dream, I am still shaken by it. Given my feelings regarding my family and given my track record with dreams, I'm beyond freaked out.



I think that's enough now, I did better than I thought I would.


TTYS

*~*VWayne*~*